#and no this does not apply to hateful opinions
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it should go without saying but if you’re sending hate to arrietty on social media you are not welcome on my blog
#this wont apply to any of my friends thank god#say it with me now#just because a queen does something wrong on the show does not define their character#and NEVER justifies sending hateful messages to them online#let them work it out in person 😭#have whatever opinion you want on arrietty but keep that far away from the queens they don’t deserve to be bombarded by nasty people#rpdr#rpdr s17#arrietty the elf
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*Sighs deeply in half the fandom reduces my favorite character to one singular trait that’s not even close to my favorite thing about them*
#feel free to add your favorite character and the overused trait in question I love seeing character interpretations I’ve never considered#personally I’m talking about Liam’s…weird sense of humor but I’m guessing you could apply this opinion to most tmf characters#of course I’m not trying to hate on anyone who does this people can do what they want and this is just my personal preference#All this means is that I shall be the change I want to see in the world in the meantime haha#tmf#the music freaks#…this is low-effort enough that I won’t add the other tags :p
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how to call out anti-autistic ableism:
USE A FUCKING BRAINLET, THE VISUAL VERSION OF CALLING SOMEONE THE FUCKING R-SLUR, SPECIFICALLY DESIGNED TO MOCK DISABILITY, BOTH PHYSICAL AND MENTAL, TO REPRESENT THE BIGOT, BECAUSE IT COULD NEVER BE NON-(MENTALLY) DISABLED PEOPLE DOING THE BIGOTRY MOST OF THE TIME, RIGHT???
I’M SURE THAT WON’T MAKE YOU LOOK HYPOCRITICAL AND ABLEIST AT ALL.
#sarcasm#satire#genuinely i hate those brainlet memes so fucking much oh my fucking god. so much condescending ableist bullshit#vent#ableism#hypocrisy#r/aspiememes#anyone can be bigoted. disabled or not.#anyone of any intelligence can be bigoted.#bad views and opinions are not caused by being ”[r-slur]”.#lateral ableism#swearing#swearing cw#swearing tw#all caps#r-slur mention#bold text#italics#insert that one meme with garfield “you are not immune to propaganda” yup this applies#actually autistic#actuallyautistic#autism#intellectual disability#face difference#lookism#do not harrass anyone who does this#just please let them know that this is not how to call things/ideas/people out
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I don't like to go around assuming people actually dislike me because I'm smarter than them but in the experience I've had with people who do, their problem is not that they're dumb it's that they are rude. However intelligent I may seem, I am never pretentious or disagreeable and I do not make a point of seeming to be better than anyone. In fact I often go to great lengths to disclaim my own talents. And people who view others through the eyes of envy and malice give me no charity in any regard and think it no ill to mistreat me.
#this is mainly a post about this guy in my renaissance lit class#i was so close to eviscerating him in a discussion on today our last day bc of how rude he was to me#he was always rude to me and never kind to anyone as a matter of fact#i strongly suspect he hated me bc i was evidently the smartest and most knowledgeable person in the class#i mean few people spoke really often so there was hardly competition. and of course i am eager about the subject#i was only ever modest about my passions though and i was never too definitive in my opinions#no amount of showing humility and respect towards others can make him see me as even neutral. i have ti be bad#it just reflects so badly on him. i know u guys dont know me irl#but if you cant picture it just take my word that in a classroom setting i am only ever mild-mannered and courteous#tales from diana#he truly just does HATE me because he thinks im better than him.#and i am. but the things he hates me for are not why.#any idiot can read shakespeare if they so apply themselves#but i will never be as unkind and ungenerous as him
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i try so hard to be open to new adult swifties joining the fandom but it makes it so fucking hard when y'all are using this label to make fun of taylor and her fandom for doing things they've done for over a decade now.
#personal#swifties#taylor swift#if you're a child or under 21 and a swiftie this doesn't apply to you unless you're gunna make taylor calling her songs poems is cringe pos#but i fucking hate post covid swiftiedom because you bitches WERE NOT FUCKING HERE A DECADE AGO#YOUR OPINION ON HOW CRINGEY TAYLOR IS DOES NOT HOLD WATER
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everyone is fighting wars and shit and then bran is on some mystical journey and chatting with a man in a tree LOL
joke’s aside, i like bran’s story a lot. it’s super connected to the lore of the GOT universe and that makes it interesting, plus, i care about him as a character (gotta love the starks). all that being said, i think where it falls short is that it can feel SO disconnected from what everyone else is doing. i mean ofc he’s connected (three eyed raven and all that), but his journey feels very independent to sansa or arya or jon’s journey. he encounters comparatively fewer characters in the story, so we kind of lose that really cool sense of “everything is connected” for a while.
his personal journey is interesting for sure and learning about the magic present in the north through him is a good way to introduce the history of the godswood and magic and stuff, but there’s a distinctive lack of the “game of thrones”, if that makes sense. in fact, i’d argue that he’s the only stark who isn’t obviously playing it for the majority of the show (this isn’t to say that it isn’t revealed in the later seasons that he IS), which disconnects him almost entirely from the main narrative.
bran makes his journey north, becomes a greenseer, and manipulates the past to preserve himself (and his family), but his story feels largely disconnected from the main arc until he discovers the truth about jon snow’s parentage (among a few other things).
all this being said, i’m only at the end of season 4 of my rewatch, but this is just what i’m noticing about it the second time around after many years. and i DO remember liking the payoff of realizing bran has had a hand in his own fate (and the fates of those around him) the entire time, so i’m not knocking that (and maybe i’ll change my mind when i see it again). i can appreciate the build of suspense as he makes his journey north and then the satisfaction of finally understanding the specifics of what has happened.
anyway, all this to say that i think what i feel is missing in bran’s story, at least through the middle, is the sense of interconnectivity the character’s actions tend to have. the whole series has this “butterfly effect” sense to it through practical means, but bran’s actions throughout the beginning of the story and on his journey seem to happen largely within a vacuum (when compared to the other characters). it isn’t until there is an ACTUAL butterfly effect that we begin to feel just how interconnected bran is to the rest of the story, which has great payoff but can kind make you furrow your brow when we see his group trudging through the snow again towards the middle of the series (to me, even the bolton’s going after him felt super disconnected for some reason lol).
anyway those are my two cents on this very very old subject even though no one asked. take it with a grain of salt though, i’ve forgotten a LOT of the main series since i haven’t watched the show all the way through since the finale aired on cable haha
#honestly.. none of this commentary applies as much to bran POST meeting the three eyed raven#bc that’s a whole different thing and i gotta rewatch it to have a real opinion#it’s hard to describe#but that’s the best way i can#it takes a VERY long time for bran’s story to feel like it has weight within the universe#and the payoff is nice when it FINALLY does#but that doesn’t happen until WAY later in the series#and it can make bran feel like he’s just sorta doing his own thing for a really long time#which.. tbf.. he kind of is and kind of isn’t LOL#anyway i’m not even gonna touch the actual finale bc i have my issues with it#and i don’t have enough marbles to do it LOL#got spoilers#game of thrones spoilers#don’t hate me if this was stupid i like yapping
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I've been seeing this huge disconnect between how a specific genre of white queer people vs queer people of color are responding to the current political situation, especially on apps like tiktok. You'll see a vaguely androgynous white person making videos about how theyre scared to go out in public now and then right after a black trans woman at a protest.
I'm not saying it's injust or not okay to be concerned about the current political climate and how it regards LGBTQ+ people. But I am saying it's interesting how easily certain people will fearmonger and doomerpost in response to the concept of oppression directly affecting them compared to people who are maybe used to dealing with systematic oppression 24/7. Because a lot of people have to keep going and can't just... not go outside because of the threat of being attacked or discriminated against or targeted by police.
Obviously there's nuance and intersectionality to this but if you're a white queer person and you know you're somewhat priveleged on the graph of racism to misogyny to homophobia to transphobia, think about your other gay and trans peers- especially your black, brown, and indigenous peers- and how they're responding to this before making another post about how you're going to die instantly upon stepping foot in a majority republican state.
Obviously the takeaway here isn't that white people are less justified in worrying, but that as queer people we are stronger together. Solidarity forever etc etc. And building solidarity does not happen when you avoid thinking about how anyone different than you in your community is affected and choose to wallow in your own perspective instead of working together with them.
#is this a 100% reactionary post? yeah#am I posting this here because the people who'd get the most mad about it aren't on here? yeah#does this make it sound a lot less understandable. probably#but I'm getting real tired of white twinks making hate crime jokes as if theyre the first people to get hate crimed#I also feel like there's some kind of connection to be made with all the reagan era stranger danger and true crime bs#that makes a uh. certain group of people feel like they're going to be targeted more than they actually are.#I also feel like this could be applied to the whole gay people vs trans people thing#because it always ends up being trans people who are on the front lines for gay rights yk?#long tags#long post#queer discussion#opinions#lgbtq+
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K just gonna put folklore, evermore, midnights and the tortured poets department right there




#really?#duuuude#those people are really saying tswift is kids music?#bitch please#you're saying it's middle school music#but it's because in middle school you're really obnoxious about your interests#growing up should be just applying media literacy everywhere#in middle school the things you like help shaping you into the person you are#rejecting poop jokes is growing up but those jokes are still better than discriminative jokes#when you look back you're either like really? or “wow can't believe i rejected that to conform to society's expectations of growing up”#growing up is being mature and able to notice people's behavior#you don't like Taylor Swift because most fans act like her opinion on people is superior to everything#you don't like tswift bc she doesn't speak up for everything and you know what?#1) compare her opinion to the current version of people#or look up why she wrote the song#2) she's not an activist she's a singer#originally her public personality was not to have opinions then she spoke up about matters she cares about#everything she does is scrutinized. if she does something people don't like#she gets destroyed. if she doesn't she gets destroyed too#brands see her every action as an economic opportunity#she's a woman and a billionaire. she gets lots of hatred and judgement from everyone#and yet she's generous with her money#she's kind and she cares about her fans#her (rich and/or recent)fans however act entitled to her concerts and music. they throw a tantrum every time she takes too long#or cancels stuff. they analyse her every action#the thing about reputation was that people thought that certainly she can't be all that nice. she must have shitty things she hides#she is easy to hate because she's rich white and and successful#also her fans hold grudges#she's criticized for her economic power moves#some hatred comes from the fact that people are tired from seeing her everywhere
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Hot Take: Telling people who just actually like D&D to "play a better game" is just rude. It is akin to telling someone what underwear they should be wearing. You will get a better response from people if you actually take the time to describe the system you would like them to try instead of blanket insulting something because it is overly popular/monolithic.
This statement applies to all TTRPG systems, btw. I'm not offended by people who want to use and play other systems. There are things that D&D is just plain not built for, and trying to make them do that is not only silly, but making too much work for yourself. No one system is objectively perfect. No one system is better than any other. These are actual matters of opinion, and I am perfectly fine, in my lane, and unbothered by other people's opinions of systems I like and systems I don't like. TL;DR: Don't yuck on someone else's yum.
#ttrpg#opinion#hot take#seriously folks it has always been massively CRINGETASTIC to hate on something because it's popular#hating the popular thing does not make you cool#this applies to all matters of opinion
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I never thought I'd see that about NobaMaki but alright.
#i do get the other half of what anon is saying because some itafushi fics do have them as a secondary couple#but doesn't like that apply to any ship then#because if it's not NobaMaki it's another ship#i will say as a multishipper#and if you've followed me long enough you know i dig ships sometimes where characters don't interact#mha fandom you know that exact ship#to me nobamaki does make sense because of the scenes we do get of them#even if we didn't have those scenes it's still just fun to ship them#no hate to that person though we all have preferences and opinions#i was just more shocked really#just kiya's thoughts
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every time i think about being near other people i actually do throw up in my mouth a lil. many such cases! very sad to see...
#.txt#YOUUU HATE PEOPLE BECAUSE YOU'RE 14 AND THAT'S JUST WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU'RE 14#I AS A TOTALLY STRONG BEAUTIFUL AND CAPABLE ADULT AM SO MUCH MORE PATHETIC WHEN MY THOUGHTS AND#FEELINGS AND OPINIONS ON TOTAL STRANGERS CAUSES REAL LIFE GENUINE NAUSEA#i deserve to be on welfare. i deserve to be paid for doing literally nothing. i deserve to be a leech. i#i need to find a way to safely talk to other people without going back to school and/or getting a stupidly hard 9-5 (IM SO PATHETICALLY WEAK#and/or .... going to one of those mental hospitals with rehab centers or whatevrr....... yeah i don't wanna do it i do think it'd make me#it'd make me worse and not get better#slowly trying to force ego death rn unfortunately i'm so fucking dense braindead and stubborn it's actually so hard#in situations where my peers got groomed i was unaffected due to just not caring enough hashtag like a boss ok anyways#'uuuu this creepy guy texted me' 'oh he texted me too but i started talking about pokemon and then we started talking about pokemon :D'#'did he want nudes...?' 'yeah but i don't really care cuz it's not about pokemon'#'did he bother u about it?' 'i think i bothered him more with my shiny hunting tbh ngl desu'#now take this sheer density and apply it to other scenarios and situations in life and beyond. and feel free to remove the pokemon parts too#just sheer vibes#i can't just kill my ego it wants to live#i can't just kill these demons they want to live! and i've been tolerating them for so long and i hate being wrong grrrrrrgrr#dude i have an actual fuckign . hallucination creature who just stopped talking to me because i didn't care enough to talk to it so it just#kind of . sits around and does nothing but be visible to me#'you should kill yourself NOW' 'i meant in real life' 'I MEANT IN REAL LIFE!!!!' 'wtfff this woman won't listen to me i give uppp' basically#whatever i heart rambling i'm like 1.2k in debt i hate my stupid chungus life i hope i get nuked entangled in my lovers embrace and#and they can't fucking bear to tear us apart#yeah. just like that. bitch#consequences n shit#bitch ...
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Hoes in my playthrough of BG3 are suffering because nobody has the guts to break up with "Osob" or otherwise tell him to go fuck himself.
Meanwhile Solas of Dragon Age fame, who is the champion of breaking up in psychic damage inducing ways, and just hit the bricks on Adabo's ass,...well actually from what I know he's also suffering. But at least the suffering is his own doing.
#idk just randomly remembered that both 'Osob' and Adabo are absolutely terrible people to be romantically involved with#and you that everyone in BG3 should perhaps consider just killing my guy. like they can't leave him they got the tadpole.#but you know I think the whole group should decide to get rid of him.#to be fair i think he'll be suffering later because there's no way he can just keep making all these awful choices.#he's playing all sides and for that he'll never come out on top. and unlike the real Osob; he cares. which is why he plays all sides#he's not a strategist he just...hates choosing a side and has very few opinions of his own.#Osob is not dissimilar but he doesn't care to choose a side. he's friendly but not interested in forming any relationships.#what does he care if people leave? what does he care what they think?#anyway back to my point. yeah and Adabo is like. an absolutely awful person who cannot have a functional relationship#because anyone s/he associates with must be both competent enough to meet her/his unachievable standards and not be a threat#to her competence at the same time. which cannot be done.#Cass is lucky that the game decided that she's straight (how is beyond me but ok) because she's very much Adabo's type#the only thing Adabo respects is the capacity for incredible violence. Though so far it looks like s/he might have some reservations when it#comes to simple/brute violence. like from my playthrough so far it seems that s/he prefers people who can apply violence strategically or#deliberately.
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“the only true loyalty he’s got is to his dragon”
#see…#are they going to hate on matt now and say he is dumb and didn’t read the books#or does that only apply to olivia and emma when they say something that doesn’t align with tbs opinions#anyway free my queen
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I really have no patience for posts talking about "adults who only watch kids' cartoons," because, like...people accuse me of "only watching kids' cartoons," despite all evidence to the contrary. It doesn't matter how much I talk about other adult media I like, if I post too many things in a row about Steven Universe or The Dragon Prince or The Owl House, people come out of the goddamn woodwork to accuse me of "only watching kids' shows."
So I really can't take people seriously when they start talking about the supposed "problem" of "adults who only watch kids' shows." Are the "adults who only watch kids' cartoons" in the room with us right now, or are you basing your entire opinion of people solely on their fandom blog? Like, come on.
It makes me think of the couple years I spent volunteering in a school library. The librarian talked a lot about how it's hurtful to enforce "reading at grade-level" on every student with no nuance. Teachers would try to force their students to check out books "at proper grade-level," instead of letting students pick out whatever they wanted (even if it was "too easy"), and it resulted in a lot of students deciding books were boring, too hard, and only good for making them feel stupid. They started to hate reading entirely, because people constantly shut them down and told them they were stupid for not reading the right things. This was especially brutal on disabled students.
I personally apply the same philosophy to adults. You don't know what someone might struggle with, you don't know what someone's history is. You might think a piece of media is "too simple," but that's your experience and your opinion. People learn and grow and experience the world at different paces, and what seems to you like a "simplistic" piece of media may be the most complex, illuminating piece of media someone else has ever had the opportunity to experience. It doesn't make them "stupid" or "childish," and believing that it does is cruel and counterproductive. You cannot wield shame as a fucking cudgel if your goal is education, support, and helping people expand their horizons.
I don't think a culture of shame is helpful. I don't think a culture of "if you like 'childish' things, it means you're too stupid for anything else" is helpful. I don't think constantly making fun of children's media does anything other than demean people--and not just the people who enjoy it, but the people who make it, too.
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Full disclosure: life has been hard lately, and my head space has not been great. That's why what I'm about to share has me livid.
It's been a while since I checked my comments on AO3, and oh gosh, look there's a new one! I open it up to see this...

Now, I've been around for a while. I know spam/bot when I see one, so I took this screen shot, marked it as spam, and almost just moved on with my day. But then I got to thinking...
I'm NOT in a great head space. If I hadn't been aware of this sort of garbage comment, this would have DESTROYED me. Heck, if I had gotten this comment on one of my first posted fics, back when life wasn't quite so hard, it would've seriously made me consider shutting myself off and never posting again.
And that made me so unbelievably angry.
Because I just know there are other authors and artists out there who are getting these same comments. People who are young and just getting started, and easily swayed by the opinions of others. Or individuals who are struggling, for whatever reason, and every word or brush stroke is a hard won fight, and need even just the tiniest validation that their effort is worth continuing. And broken ones who are looking for any reason at all to either get up or quit. (Don't quit. Please don't quit.)
I know this type of post has been written before; I have shared it multiple times, but the authors and artists out there, just know, your voice matters, your view of the world is unique and beautiful and necessary. Don't let who you are be swayed by the opinions of others, most especially soulless spam/bots who don't know you, don't see the heart and creativity you've poured into your work, and most importantly, HAVE NOT EVEN READ/VIEWED WHAT IT COMMENTED ON.
You want proof that these vile comments are unfounded, meaningless, steaming piles of putrid sewage? The above comment was posted on chapter 27 of my Inktober 2024 collection on AO3. This is a screen shot of that entire chapter:

There are no cliffhangers, no dramatics, nothing. Just 27 chapters of fan art. Drawings. It's not in any way a cohesive story, rather an eclectic collection of prompt fills featuring multiple and varying fandoms.
The hate fueled spam/bot is just that. Not worth my time, effort, or even the brain capacity I have given it. It doesn't care who I am, it's job is to post venom and destroy. The thing is, I learned long ago to not care about it either. My main reason for this post is to try to reach the authors and artists out there who have maybe fallen victim to these types of comments, and to let them know that they aren't alone in receiving these messages. Don't fall for it. Don't let the words take up any space in your creative mind and lovely heart.
And just in case you aren't sure what you're looking at when it comes to spam/bot comments, here are a few clear clues...
1. These comments can be positive too, but look for context. Does any of what the comment says actually apply to your work? Does it address specific details? Or are the 'details' it addresses details that actually appear in your story? (I.e. - cliffhangers in my collection of drawings).
2. Is the commenter a 'guest' profile? Now, not all guest profiles are bots, there are lovely people out there who, for their own personal reasons, have opted not to create user profiles, but still love fandom. But, a lot of (though not all) spam/bot profiles are guest profiles. And you can usually tell the difference just by the content of the comment. The below comment was a guest profile also left on Inktober 2024. It's simple, specific, and greatly appreciated.

3. The spam/bot comments are usually of a longer nature, extremely vague in regards to addressing what it is that is likeable or hateful about the post, and they go overboard with the language (excessive adjectives) used to prove their point. If you want to see other specific examples to look out for, I recommend doing a Tumblr search of "ao3 spam."
4. If you receive a comment that is questionable, and there is actually a user profile attached, check out the profile. Almost all of these spam/bot profiles are brand new (like, same day as you publish), and/or completely blank - as in, no used details, nothing published, nothing bookmarked, nothing at all.
5. Good or bad, always report spam/bots. Sites like AO3 and Tumblr are aware of the situation, and any reports they receive can help them take steps to protect legitimate users.
6. If the spam/bot offers a money-making situation, offers to pay you for use of your creation, or asks for money in any way, shape, or form, report it immediately. AO3 has very strict guidelines about not using the site for monetization. Also, if it seems too good to be true... it is.
I don't know if anyone will even read all of this. But if you do, I want you to know that I am posting this from a place of vulnerability, knowing how much a comment such as the ugly one above, timed just right (or wrong), would have destroyed me. The only reason it didn't this time was because I was armed with knowledge. I hope this post helps you. I hope you have a peaceful day. I hope your words or your art come easy. I hope you know how brave you are for sharing pieces of you with an uncertain world. I hope you keep going. 💙
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ecobrutalism (kim mingyu)
because drafting tables are not meant to be anything more than a decoration.
☆ annoyances to lovers: architect!mingyu x therapist!reader ☆ wc: 5k ☆ genres: non-idol au, annoyances to lovers, office setting? romance, fluff, comedy, no angst (this is a first for me) vibes based on second wind ☆ regular warnings apply; mingyu is both delusional and dramatic, jihoon is tired. ☆ notes: tiya was one of my first mutuals here on tumblr, and she's always been one of the people i can count on to listen to my yapping and not think of me as a strange person (is this weird? i dont think so) but our birthdays are only one day apart, and so, because i can't send a gift from so far away, here's my gift, a small mingyu fic that i hope will bring a smile to your face. happy birthday, @gyubakeries, i hope i know you for a very long time <3 thank you to alta @haologram for making the banner at my speedy request, and @mylovesstuffs for betaing this (if there are errors, there aren't.) masterlist
“She’s insane,” Mingyu mutters, holding on to a pamphlet, “she’s insane, and she’s going to make me insane too.”
“She’s not insane,” Jihoon mutters, sipping his tea, “she’s just a therapist. You’re projecting.”
“I’m not,” Mingyu mutters, “she’s the one who’s arguing about stupid rules in the building code that doesn’t even make any sense. I mean, who brings a folder with color-coded tabs to every meeting? Why does she have opinions on how we should build and decorate, for every shop in the building? No one even makes use of these codes in today’s day, they’re virtually obsolete.”
“So, object to them,” Jihoon shrugs, “you’re good at that, right?”
“I’m not, actually,” Mingyu groans, “I’m not even good at ignoring her. It’s making me anxious and irritable. To the extent that it’s affecting how I behave with my clients.”
“Your clients, meaning the old ladies who come here to ogle you and then force their husbands to get their shops redesigned by you?” Jihoon arches a brow, “I hardly doubt those count as actual clients, Kim Mingyu. You’ve got admirers here.”
“They bring money so yes, they’re my clients,” Mingyu snaps, “and you’re one to talk, hyung. Didn’t I catch you yesterday, buying random books from the bookstore? You don’t even read post-war Japanese crime fiction, for heaven’s sake. You were trying to get with the bookstore owner, weren’t you? You even composed a song for her, don’t even think about denying it.”
Jihoon colors, “none of your business, Mingyu.”
“None of your business, Mingyu,” Mingyu taunts, “anyway, help me out with this woman. She continues to get on my nerves at every possible opportunity, and I don’t know how long I can hold on before I inevitably lose my shit and kill her or something like that.”
“Not long for that,” Jihoon muses.
“Shut up, and try and help me.”
Jihoon sighs. He’s been tolerating Mingyu’s antics since the past year when the younger man decided to open his shiny new office in their dilapidated shopping centre, and while his perfect visuals have helped in footfall, it also means Jihoon has to take care of Mingyu and his tantrums on a semi-regular basis. Semi-regular now that he’s managed to find himself a sworn enemy. It’s not even a big deal, Jihoon does not understand why he keeps swearing to high heavens that he hates her guts.
“She doesn’t seem so bad,” Jihoon says, trying to get Mingyu to calm down to a certain degree, “you don’t even typically get this angry, do you?”
“I don’t,” Mingyu shakes his head, “imagine how royally annoying she has to be, to get me this mad.”
“Huh,” Jihoon turns it over in his head a few times, “are you sure it’s not just a random one-time thing? She’s not proposing bad things as such, she’s just telling us to be more aware of the city’s building rules and regulations. Something which I thought you would have been a stickler for, given how you are the architect here, not her.”
“I do care about building rules and regulations,” Mingyu seethes, “I’m just not a bloody fanatic about it.”
“Ah, so that’s the problem,” Jihoon shrugs, “anyway, sort this shit out amongst yourselves, all this is seriously cramping my rizz.”
“Your rizz?” Mingyu scoffs, “hah! You’re just going to spend all your money at the bookstore, aren’t you? You’ve got no rizz to speak of.”
“Speak nicely to your elders, you little shit.”
“I’ll speak nicely to you when you actually show me proof of your rizz that goes beyond stupid yearning from a distance,” Mingyu taunts, “wait, have you even talked to her? Or are you just planning to stare at her and creep her out? You know that’s not how anyone asks someone out, right?”
“Shut up,” jihoon ‘s looking intently at the door, “I’m actually trying to get her to go on a date with me.”
“And have these thoughts found any other home outside of your mind, Lee Jihoon?”
“You know she’s friends with the therapist you keep yelling at during the meetings,” Jihoon groans, “until you stop fighting with her friend, she’s not even going to look at me or give me the time of day. Now make up amongst yourselves and for once, let me go on a fucking date.”
He leaves to go back to his regular yearning duties, and Mingyu is left seated in his chair, pondering over two things; the current state of his finances, which would absolutely not withstand the onslaught of a renovation putting it to date with the city’s newest regulations, and Jihoon’s love life.
—
“Why the fuck won’t he just comply with whatever I’m asking?” you yell, throwing up your hands, “it’s the city’s regulations, stuff that he should be familiar with, given that he’s an architect, for heaven's sake, not me! Why the hell am I the person telling him things?”
“Maybe it’s because you can be a bit annoying about these things,” the bookstore owner, your only friend in this goddamn place, pipes up from behind her stack of books, “maybe if you weren’t so pushy about it, he’d hate you a little less.”
“He’s just an asshole," you say, “I need to look into his architecture degree.”
“Not to that extent,” she holds up her hands, “but you can be really pushy and I think maybe, if you’re really this concerned about the building regulations, then you should come to a compromise with him before the next building committee meeting two weeks later.”
“That soon?” You groan, “oh god, he’s going to be so annoying when I approach him first, isn’t he?”
“It’s not about who’s more annoying, it’s about who is more reasonable out here,” she shrugs, “have you ever seen me pick fights I don’t need to?”
You shake your head, “god knows how you manage to do it. If it were up to me, I’d have his head on a pike outside my office.”
“And risk facing the wrath of all the neighbourhood aunties?”
“Yes, that’s the only thing he’s good at,” you seethe, “he’s basically eye-candy for all the neighborhood aunties. Why the hell is he on the neighbourhood watch? He didn’t even live here until a few years ago!”
“Neither did you.”
“I did! I moved back!”
“Look, the point is that you need to make amends with him,” your friend reasons, “or else living in this shopping complex will be difficult for you. People actually like him a lot more than you think they do, which is why it will not be difficult for them to get you out of here.”
“Out of here?” you shriek, “what do you mean out of here? They can’t do that to me, not legally at least.”
“They can make your life a hundred times more difficult than it already is, which will make it worse for you to run a business,” she replies, strangely calm, “I’ve been here far longer than you have. Being likeable is currency. They want someone likeable, not someone who sticks to the rules and makes everyone more annoyed than they already are.”
“Ugh, I knew I was right about him the moment I met him,” you mutter, and your friend frowns.
“You really did have a poor choice of words back then.”
You shake your head, ignoring the jibe, “So, I need to be nice with him.”
“Precisely.”
—
Mingyu is trying to be nice, he really is. Jihoon has been blowing up his phone, asking him to fix things so he can go back to creepily stalking the bookstore owner, but he’s a good friend, so he’s going to be nice.
Which is what he’s been telling himself since the moment he stepped foot into the clinic run by that woman. Happiness Clinic, he repeats, looking at the sign on the wall, how stupid.
“Kim Mingyu,” you say, surprised to see him walking through your doors in the middle of the day, “strange to see you here.”
“No business?” he asks, offhandedly, making a motion at the empty waiting area.
“I have a consultation in half an hour,” you reply, “what do you want?”
Mingyu sighs. He’s really not looking for an argument, but your attitude is not helping his current goal. “Look,” he says, after a whole minute, “about the newest resolutions, can we at least work it out? Most of the residents don’t want to upend their entire businesses to make sure their stores are up to code.”
“Yes, but shouldn’t they be making sure they’re not violating code?” she argues, “and you of all people should be making sure they’re not being fined by the city officials. You’re an architect. I’m just a random therapist.”
“You’re not a random therapist,” Mingyu argues, before taking a deep breath, “even the city officials generally give the store owners a window of time within which they have to comply with regulations. At least give them more than a week.”
“Fine,” she snaps, “just so you know, I’m not doing this as a favour to you. I’m doing this as a favour to my friend.”
“The bookstore owner?”
“Yes, the bookstore owner,” The sarcasm is not lost on him, “she’s the one who told me I have to at least make sure the residents don’t hate my guts.”
“See, she’s got it down,” Mingyu suddenly feels a bout of gratitude towards the bookstore owner, whose name he still is not familiar with, but he’s going to give her a basket of flowers the next day. “You need to compromise to some degree, to be able to cohabitate. Life is all about cohabitation and compromise, you know.”
“Yes, yes,” she makes a face, “fine, I’ll tone down the arguing. They can make their arrangements taking as long as they want. When the city officials come knocking on their doors, don’t say I did not warn you.”
“Noted, doctor.” he gives her a mock salute, before turning to leave the same way that he came. You groan, before making a rude gesture, which Mingyu catches. He just laughs, before walking away. Cute.
—
“Hyung,” Mingyu has been running for an hour, he thinks, knocking on Jihoon’s door, until the older man opens up, angry expression on his face, “why the hell did you take so long to open the door?”
“I was taking a nap, Mingyu,” Jihoon mutters, “it’s four in the afternoon, and I don’t have customers right now, so of course I was doing what any normal person does, and was taking a nap.”
“Wow, you’re such a productive member of society, hyung,” Mingyu scoffs, before opening the door wide open, “okay, I need your help with something.”
“I don’t have money.”
“It’s not—why does everything have to be about money?”
“We live in a capitalistic society, Kim Mingyu-ssi, of course everything is about money.”
“Ugh fine, but this one is not,” he waves a hand, “I think I’m going crazy.”
“And it took you this long to figure out?” Jihoon raises an eyebrow, “wow, you really are a genius, as they say.”
“This is not a time to make fun of me, hyung,” Mingyu wails, which, in retrospect, is not the best look on a grown adult man, “how did you even know you liked the bookstore owner?”
“She has a name, you idiot,” Jihoon swats the back of his head, “and no, why would I tell you?”
“Just help me out once, please,” Mingyu wails again, “I’m seriously never going to ask you for help again if you help me out here.”
“Fine,” Jihoon is not entirely convinced with his declaration, but he sits down at the counter anyway, “what seems to be your problem?”
Mingyu takes a deep breath, “I think I like her.”
Jihoon scowls, “like who? There are eight billion people in the world, you have to be specific here.”
“The therapist!” Mingyu throws up his hands, pacing around the shop, “I seriously think I like her or something like that. I’m going crazy here, just help me out once.”
“Might I suggest a psychiatric hospital?”
“Hyung.”
“What do you expect me to say?” Jihoon makes a vague gesture with his hands, “until yesterday, you were vowing to kill her with your bare hands or something like that. Now you’re here at my door, telling me you like her. I’m not the only person, you ask anyone else, they’ll all say the same thing; you’ve got to check yourself into a hospital or something like that.”
“You’re not even getting the point,” Mingyu groans, “up until last night, I never even had thoughts about her in that way.”
Jihoon raises an eyebrow. It reminds him of his elementary school teacher, just as terrifying, “Mingyu, what have we said about catching feelings from a sex dream?”
“It was not a sex dream!”
“So it was worse,” Jihoon leaned back into the chair, “go on.”
“I don’t know man,” Mingyu sighs, “I went to meet with her yesterday afternoon about the upcoming meeting, and she was actually nice to me.”
“You mean she did not actively argue with you?” Jihoon tries to smile, although it’s more of a grimace, “you seriously need to rethink the reasons for getting attracted to someone.”
“It’s not even like that!” Mingyu protests, “she was actually nice to me. And she didn’t even yell that much!”
“Mingyu, last week, at the committee meeting, she told you to go fuck yourself.”
“And I’m coming to that,” he holds up a hand, “she actually did flip me the bird when I was about to leave.”
Jihoon’s got an expression on his face that makes it very clear he does not understand anything Mingyu’s saying, “she flipped you off? Made the sign which tells you to go fuck yourself?”
“Yes, but there was no real malice behind it,” Mingyu waves, “that’s not the point here.”
“I think you’ve gone insane,” Jihoon sighs, “and what, she flipped you off, and you fell in love with her?”
Mingyu makes a face, “why would I fall in love? I’m not that stupid.”
“Yes, you just dreamed about her and are now yapping to me,” Jihoon mutters under his breath, “nothing stupid.”
“Anyway, last night, I literally saw her in a dream,” Mingyu explains, waving his hand about, “it was not even an explicit dream, I legitimately just dreamt of us going on a picnic. And I woke up, and kept thinking about her. Now, whenever I think about her, my heartbeat rises just slightly, not noticeable enough to be concerned, but just enough to make me stop and think, ‘oh? Do I actually think about her in my spare time?’ and it turns out, I actually am thinking of her in my spare time! I even went down to her clinic today, to make sure what I was feeling or thinking about were not just random feelings, and I saw her through the glass doors, and my heartbeat increased to 119, I’m not even kidding, hyung, look at it—”
“Mingyu!” Jihoon yells, “calm the fuck down, you’re rambling.”
“Am I?” Mingyu clutches at his hair, “I really don’t know whatI’m supposed to do, it’s so embarrassing, I want to die.”
Jihoon sighs. This is new. “Look, Mingyu,” he says, cautiously, as if approaching a spooked fawn, “are you confused or are you scared?”
“What do you mean?”
“These feelings, for her,” Jihoon shrugs, “do they confuse you, or do they scare you?”
He pauses, and then replies, “scares me. I’m terrified.”
“That’s good,” Jihoon replies, going to the small fridge in the shop and offering Mingyu a diet coke, “being scared of your feelings means you’re at least acknowledging the attraction. If you were confused about what you were feeling, I would have told you to drop it.”
“Yes, but like you said, I’ve only had about three civil interactions with her, and now I’m feeling attracted to her? Is this normal?”
“Attraction does not follow the rules of normal social behaviour, Mingyu,” Jihoon replies, feeling very much like the father of an emotional teenager, “it does not follow what we want it to do. And being attracted to someone is not a bad thing. She’s not a minor, nor does she have a boyfriend or girlfriend. You’re allowed to like her.”
Mingyu groans, before shoving his entire face into his hands, “I just feel like I’m going to mess everything up if I even try to like her. I mean, she’s never really going to give me the time of day, so why bother? Just look at it this way, hyung, if I go up to her right now, in that stupidly well-lit mental health clinic of hers, and tell her, ‘hey, I think I am attracted to you’, what do you think she’s going to do?”
Jihoon muses, “Probably take your teeth out with a punch.”
“See!” Mingyu wails, “even you know she’s going to think this is all a giant joke or a prank and that I am exactly what she thought of me in the first place.”
“And what exactly did she think of you in the first place?” Jihoon raises an eyebrow, although he’s perfectly aware of the exact words you had said. Mingyu had agonised over it for a whole hour, before deciding to just embrace the misconception and go with it. Shallow, you had called him, a shallow man with no sense of right and wrong. “And you’re sure if you go ahead and tell her you’re attracted to her, to a certain degree, she’s going to label you as a shallow person?”
Mingyu nods.
“She does not seem like the person to do that,” Jihoon says, “and if she really does do that, then I’ll tell you to just forget about her, because that does not seem like the characteristics of a good person.”
“So, what do I do right now, hyung?” Mingyu asks.
“For starters, go to your office, and leave me the fuck alone,” Jihoon shrugs, “and in the evening, just go over to her office with a cake or something, and ask her to work with you on which regulations the business owners should adopt in the upcoming meeting.”
“Wow, hyung, look at you go. Who would say that you’ve been single since birth?”
—
“I think I’m going to be killed.”
Your friend stares at you, seated across the table in the bookstore, two lunch boxes open in front of you both. She takes a gulp, swallowing down a large piece of kimbap, and manages to warble out a “come again?”
You sigh, “I think I’m going to be killed soon.”
“By who?” she half-yells, taking a swig from her water bottle, “who the hell wants to kill you?”
“Kim Mingyu.” You whisper conspiratorially, and her face falls. “What?” You protest, “he’s really out to get me, you know that, right?”
“You told him that he was a shallow, self-centred man within thirty minutes of meeting him,” she replies, going back to eating, “I’m going to be surprised if he hasn’t made any attempts on your life yet.”
“You don’t get it,” you wail, “yesterday, he came to my office, asking about the committee meeting next week, and even made an appointment to draft a joint resolution that accommodates both the new regulations of the city and complies with the business owners’ demands of more time and extra funds.”
“And?” She's still not getting the point, which is making you slightly frustrated at this point, “he’s trying to make amends, and he’s actually doing something about what the larger community wants and needs, instead of yelling at everyone and annoying them in public meetings.”
“I’m going to ignore that jibe because I’ve got better things to think about,” you mutter, “he also smiled at me when I flipped him off! He smiled!”
“And you flipped him off, like a middle schooler,” she sighs, “was it a creepy smile, or was it a normal one?”
“Pretty normal, but you can’t really know with Kim Mingyu, right?”
“I’m going to go out on a limb and say he’s much more normal than you,” she replies, still calm in the face of your anxiety, which in other circumstances would be a good thing, but right now, it is not, “has he done anything else that would give you the impression that he intends on killing you?”
“He’s also asked me to meet him in his office this evening to discuss the joint resolution.” You say, “why the hell would he do that if he did not have nefarious intent?”
“Maybe he just wants to draft a joint resolution,” she counters, “after all, you both argued for so long last time, the committee had to disperse on their own. They even postponed the whole voting process and argument over the resolution because they wanted you to come up with a joint solution to the problem. And he’s the one who’s been making steps towards peace, not you.”
“You’re my friend. You’re supposed to be on my side, not his.”
“I am on the side of whoever makes me not attend those boring meetings,” she yawns, “the last time it ran for over an hour and half, just because you two were fighting so much. This time, please make sure you play nice with him.”
You narrow your eyes, “Are you sure you’re saying that because you want me to be nice to Mingyu, or are you saying that because you want to flirt with the music store owner?”
“At least I have better social skills than you,” she counters, “and I’m not running out my only chances at normal socialising out with a proverbial broom.” The last part of that sentence is said in English, which goes over your head.
“What the hell do you mean by that? Stop using complicated English words because you’re a bookstore owner.”
She sighs, ignoring the second sentence, “the music shop owner is Lee Jihoon, and him and Kim Mingyu, yes I know you hate him, are the only people in this shopping centre who are of our age. The rest of them are all thirty years older than us. People don’t come here to have fun and open up swanky offices, they come here to retire in peace and get a sense of community.”
“I do not get the point you are trying to make.”
“The point is, if you at least tried to be friends with those two, we would have someone of our age to at least talk to. We could go on dinners, trips, ask them to set us up with their friends—”
“Hold on,” you raise a hand to stop her, who’s rattling off things to do with friends, “why do you even want to hang out with those two after work? We already see them here seven days a week, is that not enough for you?”
“No, it’s not,” she makes a face, “I cannot be fraternising solely with senior citizens, you know. I’m not old. But talking to these women, every day and every week, has made me feel like I’m some sort of ahjumma, too. Last week, I corrected a child’s posture.”
“You probably spared them some very expensive spinal surgery down the line.”
“Does not matter!” she snaps, “I don’t want to be correcting a child’s posture, I want to actually go out and have fun, after I close up my shop, instead of just sitting around my house and doing nothing!”
“You actually spend a lot of time doing inventory.”
“And you are going to go and talk to Mingyu,” she practically chases you out of the door, “and don’t even think about coming back here without fixing this mess!”
—
“There, all done,” Mingyu holds up a document, waving it around like he’s won a war, “this is the joint resolution we are proposing, right? Don’t go back on it, please.”
“Now why would I do that?” You ask.
‘I don’t know, general issues. Maybe you’ll hate the way I dress in the meeting.”
“Do you plan on wearing something wildly inappropriate?” You ask, eyes narrowed, “then I will reconsider.”
“No!” Mingyu yelps, taking a step back, “I do not plan on wearing anything inappropriate for the meeting. In fact, I shall be the most appropriate man in the room that day.”
“That’s good. Bare minimum, but good,” you snipe, wondering how and why your friend wants you to be nice to him, given his penchant for saying the wrong things at the wrong times, “let’s get a meal next time, yeah?”
It’s a polite question, of course, one that does not require a proper answer, of course, no one expects an answer for this question, but Mingyu perks up instantly, wide grin in place, “do you want to get dinner with me right now?”
“Right now?” You check your wristwatch, it’s ten p.m already. If you were to stick to your usual schedule, you would have been at home by now, sitting in front of the television to catch up on your daily hour of peace and entertainment. But the man in front of you seems unable to take no for an answer, nor does he look like he’s someone who has been told no very often. Did no one ever reject him, you wonder, and contemplate idly how it would feel to be the first person to ever say ‘no, thank you’ to his face.
But he’s looking at you with an open and honest expression, so you sigh, picking up your bag, “let me close up.” another day. I’ll tell him to fuck off another day.
—
Mingyu is going insane, really. He should have left her alone, their work was done, so why bother to even hang around for another couple hours? But Jihoon’s words from earlier have kept bugging him for longer than he would care to admit. He’s even messed up a semi-important meeting and has been forced to reschedule it. Hell, he’s been so fucked up over this one little thing, he even went back to drafting plans by hand, using the same vintage drafting table he’s used exclusively as decoration. Even that failed, and he spent the rest of the evening wallowing in his misery.
Why the hell was he looking forward to spending time with her?
Even now, he’s aware that she doesn’t really want to get a meal with him, and he really feels bad, he does, but he’s also slightly selfish, and he wants to make sense of his own feelings, preferable in a setting separate from their usual one. Proximity breeds affection. Maybe all this is because I’ve been spending too much time in that shopping centre.
“What’s your favorite architectural style?” She asks, picking up a piece of mushroom from their soup.
“Huh?”
She rolls her eyes, “I asked you what your favorite architectural style was. I assume you have one, since you are an architect.”
He ignores the jab, “Organic architecture, actually. All throughout university, I was obsessed with the works of Frank Lloyd Wright.”
“The architect of Jiyu Gakuen, right?” She asks, shrugging, “I had an architect as a patient. Back in Seoul City Hospital.”
He files that information for later, “yes, the architect of Jiyu Gakuen. I was so obsessed I even took a trip to see the Fallingwater house in Pennsylvania. And yes, I made several trips to see all his Japanese works.”
“What draws you to him?”
“It’s interesting, how he uses nature, not as a foil, but as a companion to human existence,” Mingyu replies, smiling slightly, “I think I fell in love when I saw pictures of the Pope-Leighey house, when I was in my first year. Honestly speaking, I don’t think I would have been an architect if it was not for—” he pauses, “are you trying to therapize me?”
She laughs, “is it that obvious?”
“You are not as slick as you think,” he laughs, “you said you moved here from Seoul.”
She sighs, “I was hoping you would not hold on to that.”
Mingyu shrugs, “if you don’t want me to, then I won’t, but if you don't mind me asking—”
“I mind, actually.”
“—why did you move to a new clinic? From Seoul City Hospital, too.”
She sighs, “look, there were personal reasons, that’s all I will say. Other than that, I just realised one day that the big hospital did not allow me to look after my patients as well as I could. So, I moved here.”
“And opened the clinic?”
“And opened a clinic.” She smiles suddenly, broad and open, and Mingyu’s smartwatch beeps; abnormal heart rate detected: 109 BPM.
Damn, he’s fucked.
—
She’s actually having fun. Mingyu might be out to kill her, but he’s a terrific dinner partner, to the point where she does not miss the warmth of her familiar house and her familiar sofa and the familiar tv dramas. This is concerning.
—
“Traitor,” your friend scowls, over lunch the next afternoon, “did you get dinner with Kim Mingyu?”
“How the hell do you know that?”
“Mingyu posted it on his instagram story,” your friend holds up her phone, where Mingyu had posted a picture of her, seated across from him in the restaurant, eating dinner. It could very well have been mistaken for a soft launch picture, if no one was aware of the facts. It should be embarrassing.
“Huh,” you mutter, going back to organising your notes for all your patients, “I did not think he’d post a picture of me.”
Your friend narrows her eyes, observes her for a full minute, “you like him, don’t you?”
“I—what the hell are you talking about?”
“Don’t even give me that act,” she scowls, and for a split second, you hesitate, thinking back on the whole evening, and whether or not it would have been embarrassing if anyone had caught you out with Mingyu, of all people, and, “answer the question.”
“It wasn’t embarrassing,” you murmur, half in disbelief.
“What?” Your friend asks, but she’s heard it too, only asking you to repeat yourself.
“I said it was not embarrassing!” You yell, and immediately clap your hand over your mouth. What the hell was that about?
“Knew it. Lee Jihoon owes me ten thousand won.” Your friend grins, self-satisfied, before settling back into her chair.
“Were you actually betting on this?” You shake your head, “you’re such a traitor.”
“A traitor who will buy you coffee after work,” she grins, “happy now?”
“Ugh, I would be happier if I was not attracted to him,” you sigh, finishing your lunch, “and he was really respectful about the whole thing too, which makes it even more annoying. How can I hate him in peace when I know that he likes Frank Lloyd Wright’s work and wants to repurpose old concrete buildings into designated ‘breathing spaces’ filled with greenery? Like, that is objectively a beautiful idea.”
“Selfless, too.”
“And selfless!” You wail, “I cannot even hate him in peace. All I can do is be annoyed with myself.”
“You like those concrete buildings, don’t you?” Your friend asks after a beat, “they’re symmetrical.”
“And orderly! I like order in my life, which is why I like those buildings.”
“And he wants to turn them into ‘breathing spaces’.”
“Who the hell has heard of something so annoying?”
“It’s not a bad thing at all, you know,” she says, putting a mini sausage on your rice, as though she were comforting a small child, “not everything goes according to plan at all times. Order is well and good, but some sunshine is also good for your health.”
“I’d rather die.” You scow, “just wait, I will never even talk to Kim Mingyu ever again. Even if he shows his stupidly handsome face back in here, I am never talking to him! Never, on my life, never again—”
The door swings open, and a brightly-smiling Kim Mingyu pokes his head in, “what are you doing for dinner?”
“Nothing,” your friend says on your behalf, “she’s free after eight.”
“Great, I’ll see you for dinner, then!” He waves again, and it’s annoying, how you automatically blush, “it’s a date!”
The door closes, and your friend laughs, “should I look up architectural style names now?”
You sigh. I’m really screwed.
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